Majority of people meet their partners at work and having relationship with workmates is really common. But our workplace is always filled with rumors and gossips of employees having relationship with their boss for more benefits. So is it a wise strategy and a smart move to have sex with your boss for power and perk. Frankly speaking I have been in this situation and I am sure many of my readers as well. You can be a guy or a girl and get tempted to start a steamy relationship with your boss for all the presumed benefits attached to it. But does it really work out the way it should? As I tried to find a good answer to this question, I came across several articles trying to describe the dynamics of office sex and I have mentioned one of them below authored by Linda Lowen. I hope this article will be an eye opener for many. Happy reading!
Your Boss is stunning and gives you all the right signals, but sex with the boss is always a bad idea and a serial career killer. No one is ever isolated at work and your illicit relationship affects everybody. Even if it turns out to be long-lasting, one of you has to quit. Beyond the act of sex with your boss you’ll always find that power is at the center of the relationship. Desire to associate with power, inequity of power or to attain more power all factor into the relationship.
Ask yourself a few thought provoking questions before entering into a relationship with your Boss, if he was somebody else than your boss, would you still be attracted to him? do you feel like you have control over him even when the fact is he has control over your life and career? Do you think he’ll promote you if you sleep with him?
Having relationship with your Boss overshadows your abilities because sex clouds everybody’s judgment. You may have been hired because of your experience and skills. But when you’re related with the boss, your competence comes under question. Successes you achieve, opportunities that come your way, goals you meet and supersede — all will be perceived as arising out of your special relationship with the boss and not your own hard work. And if you end up working for someone else in the same company, that person may be reluctant to believe that you’ve gotten to where you are based on merit alone. You’ll have that relationship with your ex-boss hanging over your head, and it may stunt your career advancement under future supervisors. If the two of you remain in the same workplace and he’s still your boss, there’ll be jealousy on one end or the other, and it’s going to affect your professional relationship and judgment. He may stall your career out of spite, revenge, or simply because he can, or behave in ways that make it difficult to continue to work for him. Or you may have to sit back and watch him launch another steamy affair with someone new under him (in more ways than one.) Because here’s the painful truth: many bosses who sleep with their employees don’t do it just once. They’re serial subordinate seducers. As much as you’d like to think that you’re special — the irresistible one he broke all the rules for — it’s probably not that way.
Many companies have clear policies on office dating and while relationships between co-workers have become commonplace, an employee’s affair with the boss still continues to be frowned upon. From a purely business standpoint, the relationship is a no-win situation for the company you work for, even if you end up together. Companies frame the issue of ‘dating’ under Code of Conduct policies: As an employee, you are not allowed to personally benefit from your role at the office at the expense of the organization. Therefore, you are not allowed to sleep with a subordinate and continue supervising his/her work. Additionally, most companies will not allow you to supervise your family members. The way a ‘friend with benefits’ is a tricky relationship to manage, an ’employee with benefits’ is a liability to the boss who has exceeded the bounds of appropriate behavior and has opened himself up to charges of sexual harassment, even if the sex was consensual. So sex with the boss jeopardizes his position as well as yours. But just suppose it’s the real thing? After all, according to the Times Online, four out of every ten people meet their spouses at the office. Let’s say he’s the one. Even if your wildest fantasies come true and you two get married, he cannot continue to supervise you. Someone’s going to have to leave, and it’s probably not going to be the boss.
Keep in mind that sex with the boss may poison any other potential future relationships with your co-workers. And since work continues to be the main way in which we meet, socialize with, and get to know people, that would shut the door to many opportunities, both professional and romantic. And finally, for those who say that it’s sexist to assume the boss is male (since over 36% of managers and supervisors are female) and want to view this issue from the perspective of a boss who is female, the truth is there’s little difference. The same rules apply.
The best advice for any boss, female or male is “Think twice about a relationship with your supervisor….Think 10 times before getting involved with a subordinate.”