I remember the first conversation my partner and I had about money: Girlfriends I SHUT DOWN. I didn’t know what triggered it or how it happened but he said “I have such a hard time talking to you about money.” Being the person I am, however, I use every moment for personal development. I had to go reflect and realize I had a lot of baggage around money that was triggering my response. This opened a flood gate to a topic many of us find difficult to approach, or even more difficult to sort through once we approach it: MONEY.
Later, I would get a writing job for a stock and investment firm and had to begin to write articles about investing and finances (the universe always gives what you need). I immediately felt insecure and overwhelmed. How could I write about money when I felt so inadequate? But let me tell you my professional sisters, I was determined to overcome this weakness and challenge it (like we do). Three hours later I had written an article overviewing online finance companies and analyzing their effectiveness. I was like “Hey! That wasn’t so bad!” Suddenly, I beasted it out and found my inner financial boss lady.
The point? Sometimes we need to go in and challenge those weaknesses inside of us and address those fears. I want to become a financial dragon slayer. I want to be a professional in every area of my life. I share my story with you because so many of us are here, and for those who have mastered their money- sometimes we can go to a financial extreme and then get TOO TIGHT with our finances. Whatever the case I want to share with you some of the things that I have discovered to make this your one stop shop for your money issues. I want to provide a foundation for you to work off of to begin challenging your own financial forests. Now, you know your girl loves her lists, so I present: 10 ways to work that money.
- Rich mom or poor mom?: This title is adopted from the well known financial book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.” an exploration of two children who had financial opposite father’s. The first thing I think that is essential is to ask yourself what your caregiver’s relationship to money was, and how this impacted your own. I remember my mom was poor with money and in turn would also tell me “You aren’t a math girl, you are an English girl.” To this day I am more comfortable with writing than adding. Also, was money a taboo topic in the home or too much of the central focus? Either is not healthy. Some will fall in line with our parents, others may go to the opposite extreme (I never had anything so now I save, or have, EVERYTHING). Neither one is balance. Sit down and ask yourself what you have been taught about money and see if they have influenced how you work with money today- and if that is WORKING FOR YOU.
- How do you feel about capitalism?: In this creative coaching company Move The Crowd, they ask you to explore your relationship to capitalism: Does it intimidate you? Anger you? Materialize you? It is important that we understand this relationship because this is the paradigm that we are operating under and it could be causing us to create subconscious habits that are counterintuitive to the life we want to live.
- Speaking of SUBCONSCIOUS: Spiritual gurus like Louise Hay and Iyanla Vanzant always bring forth our troubles to an inner block. Our relationship to money, beyond what we have been taught by those who raised us, is also a reflection of how we feel about our lives and our SELVES. Net worth is directly related to SELF worth. That crumpled dollar in your pocket can reflect more about how you feel about yourself than you realize (you may believe deep down that you do not deserve security). That extra crisp dollar in your wallet that you hate to pull out can also reflect how you feel about yourself (you may be too attached to your finances as a means to define who you are). Time to reflect.
- What is your long term? Make a vision board: Do you want to own a home? A vacation house? Go on vacation? New car? Save for children’s college? You cannot make a financial plan unless you have a long term vision. Enough of the paycheck to paycheck. Plus, having a vision can inspire you to make the necessary changes.
- Stop the ignorance: Take a financial course, speak to an advisor, get online, learn how to invest (something you can do with only $10), do something that puts you in a better financial direction. Also, knowledge helps destroy those demons and empowers you.
- Get a partner for check in: You know I love some teamwork. I have a girlfriend of mine who not only shares my similar financial situation, but also background. Together we check in on each other as well as offer resources, encouragement, and ideas.
- BUDGET: Seriously. And spend 30 days not bending in it. Many times we work off of a “loose budget” and before you know it what we are supposed to have in savings is now gone.
- Get REAL: Many of us get our paycheck and spend it without checking in to our budget. Or we created a budget that is not really reflective of our actual circumstances. It is time to get real ladies.
- Stop the credit cards: Credit card companies are a new way to be enslaved. You should really only have ONE for emergencies. If you are operating out of two and three you are now probably borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, and their interest rates could be toward a mortgage, car payment, or things that you actually can invest in. Do not let these companies enslave you. And should you do get or have a card, use it for big purchases such as a car or money toward your dreams (as in business or creative).
- Fall In Love: Stop looking at your money as a hindrance or nemesis, and instead start to see it as that partner that just wants to love and support you. A partner who will always respect you once you show them respect in return.
It is time that we stop thinking we have time. We need to treat our money with urgency and compassion (aka tough love). It is time that we stop seeing money as something separate from us and instead as a part of us and our lives that can greatly challenge who we are and enhance our experiences. No go work that cash boss ladies!